why..things that i see,hear,know,are just another hole for me to fall right deep into it..placing my hand on a hot kettle for a minute seems like an hour..but spending an hour with you just seems like a second..i love you,but i cant tell you..the impossible dream began..and i dont know how to end it..the most hurting word that i would hate to say is 'goodbye' but is there a choice to change this around?i cant go on par with them..i will lose..but i dont wanna lose you..i really wanna cherish every moment i have left with you..but would you want?im really suffering,deep down..tell me what to do.

weixuan is miserable.

well,jc orientation started.okay,i wouldnt say i was bad to the core..but it made me thought of many fond memories i had in secondary school..sitting in the hll without my buddies around me to make jokes out of everything the speaker have to say..no sweets being passed around...eating in the canteen without buddies just sucks,food was tasteless..being unfamiliar to the surrounding,i totally had no confidence that i would be able to survive through this jc life.as some might have know,im appealing to a poly..but nontheless,results are still unknown..even though i dont know if that action i took was correct but i certainly have no idea what kind of dull life i would have without you guys..even the girl friends i made have gave me fond memories..which i would always hold dear to my heart..i promise..i hope everything would go smooth..if i really dont get into poly,i really hope we can still keep in close contact..for i never wanna forget you guys.aishiteru.

there simply just isnt justice in this world..what's up with that shit results..after all the i have put in and i still get this kind of pathetic marks,i might as well just quit studying..everyone's getting such good grades and im the only one who scores like shit..all my hopes were dashed just by the moment my name was called..freak man..seriously lost in life now..dont know how to pull myself tgt..i might just break down?or maybe not?i only know now im really screwed up in life..nothing works out now..hoping i could the same jc with some close friends..that's my only wish now..and seriously,im putting all my hopes on that only..im totally beaten..shag..if nothing works out fine before 15th jan,i would probably go for the other option,and only she knows that..guess if i go for that option everyone would slowly realise it too...im really lost now...confused,anger the negative feelings is simply overwhelming..what have i done to deserve this?i've worked hard,but still....lost for words..i dont know how to face them..im such a disappointment to them.sorry.